Space Bags Save Space

We’ve all vacuum sealed our food before, right? It keeps it fresher longer and ultimately saves space and makes for tidier storage. Space Bags apply the same principal to clothing, pillows and linens. Basically, put items in a large bag with a one-way valve. Then, use a vacuum to suck the air out for a fresher and smaller hermetically sealed article. Oh, and not just smaller, three times smaller. We assume if the clothes are airtight, they will remain fresher and, since it will have to remain airtight to remain compressed, the amount of space saved will be the primary focus of our testing.

The box doesn’t just make the claim, it shows a pile of pillows, blankets and clothing before and after using the 6 large and 6 extra-large Space Saver bags. The claim is pretty impressive, the pile is all but flattened by these bags. Either I’m just as flabbergasted as you might be or someone just went boom-boom in my labcoat.

The bags patented primary technology is the one-way valve that makes the vacuum sealing process possible.  Wasn’t that invented with the baby bottle nipple? You press your vacuum hose against the one-way valve where it instantly seals and begins removing air.  I am using a newer model Hoover bagless vacuum, her name is Vactoria. She is powerful enough for me to be convinced that the average household will not have a more powerful vacuum and that you at home will experience results similar to mine.

I’m gonna start with pillows. For the record, they started with me first.

They make it pretty simple. The directions are on the bag, for those who ate too many paint chips as a child. The zipper makes for easy opening and closing of the bag.  The time to suck is upon us, let’s see what this bag can do!

In just a matter of seconds, the bag was turned into a raisin look-a-like and vacuum sealed.

Not bad. The only problem is that this bag is nowhere near as compressed as the photo.  My estimate is that the bag was reduced by maybe 40%.  We were expecting closer to 70%.  Also, these are pillows, which contain more air than clothes and blankets for sure.  The picture on the box shows virtually flattened bags, this isn’t even close to that. I was expecting Kate Moss flat, I ended up with an odd shaped, lumpy, Keira Knightly flatness.  Interesting note, Kate and Keira achieved their flatness with both blow and suck.  Just kidding, you girls are class acts.

So, just when I was closing the large bag, which was filled with clothes and blankets, the seam near the zipper split and ruined this bag.  I swear the bag was not overloaded.

I grabbed a second bag and loaded it with the same items as before, except for one towel to lighten the load a bit. As I was closing the second bag the little white slider snagged the plastic and ripped the seam again!  WTF!   This had to be what happened the first time. No, that’s not a peace sign, that’s a “piece of sh*t” sign.

Alright, let’s see what happens with fewer items.

No more “Mr. Nice Suck,” this time I’m pullin’ every last bit of air out of this thing possible. You couldn’t blow a bubble with the air that is left in that bag and still I’m only seeing maybe a one-third reduction in size. It’s a sad day for space everywhere, for it will not be saved, unless it devotes it’s life to Christ. Amen!

One last quick test before I give this product the boot. How long can it stay vacuum sealed? I am going to give it two weeks under my bed and see what happens.

It seems to have expanded a bit. It barely fit under my bed to begin with. When I pulled it out, it was wedged worse than when i put it in, so it had to have gained some air. Either way, this product failed miserably. It only saved marginal space. It ripped, twice.  And, it has no staying power, like any show on MTV that didn’t feature Carson Daly or a guy named Beavis.

Now, I am a little critical because I don’t believe the product is speaking the truth on the packaging.  For me, I say save your money, cause this won’t save space. Rat OUT!

On the other hand, some of the other lab rats tried it and found it to be useful with storing blankets as well as winter clothes.  The biggest complaint was the clothes came out wrinkled.  A rat on…

So it looks like we have a draw.  I guess you have to temper you expectations and determine if it is worth it to you.

If you want, try it for yourself. Use link below:

Tired of paying big bucks for peanut butter? Can’t stand having to ride your horse down to the local trading post just to have a PB&J? Maybe you have a bushel of peanuts you want to preserve for the upcoming harsh winter?  Since peanut butter is cheap and this isn’t the 1800s, I doubt you’d buy this machine out of necessity. We are going to test it just in case you get tired of your old ice cream maker and decide to venture into the world of peanut butter production.  If this thing works, we’ll start out own line of Lab Rats peanut butter. Choosy moms choose Lab Rats Nut Butters.

The testing procedure:

We are going to process a few different types of nuts: regular dry roasted peanuts, sticky honey roasted peanuts and oily sunflower kernels.  These varieties will test the strength of the motor. The sunflower kernels were chosen because they are smaller, softer and have a lot more oil content than the peanuts. If all goes wrong with the peanuts, then the sunflower kernels will be tossed in as a mercy move.  Also, I’ve never tasted sunflower butter and am a bit curious, which is in the true spirit of MyLabRats.net.

We know whatever comes out of this thing isn’t going to taste like peanut butter.  Unfortunately, peanut butter contains hydrogenated oils, high-fructose corn syrup, salt and preservatives. Our testing will focus on the consistency and texture of the nut butter and the amount of nut butter produced.  Of course, ease-of-use and clean-up are important factors.  How many ways could you possibly make peanut butter easier to use? Well, check this out:

• Peanut butter….Stick Type?
• Skip the bread and apply directly to the lips–Chap Stick would be a thing of the past.
• Forget salted/unsalted—I use medicated SPF15 butter and my kisses taste like movie theater popcorn.

As you can see the mechanism comes apart quite easily and is dishwasher safe, so easy cleaning is definitely a plus. The internal gizmo is actually a miniature extruder. It’s like tiny food disposal, but for nuts.

There is a dial on one side of the peanut butter maker to vary the consistency of the product from smooth to chunky.  We’ll definitely compare the extremes of the two settings side-by-side to see if there is an appreciable difference.
Creamy and chunky….. that reminds me of a photo I once saw.

QUICK! How many comments can you make about this image in the next 30 seconds… post your ideas.

• How many licks does it take to get to the center of the earth?
• Tastes like shame
• If tube tops could scream, you’d hear this one over the concert
• She doesn’t like her flip flops because they make her feet look fat
• If we ring out her doo-rag, we could end world thirst
• The world’s first form-fitting curtain skirt
• Hopefully, she doesn’t mistake his frosted tips for frosting
• I think she’s trying to fold his face like a slice of thin crust pizza
• He’s wearing a pillowcase, she’s wearing the bed sheet
• If his arms were each a foot longer, he could actually grab her by the biscuits.
• Is that a goatee?…..on her?
• I think her cankle has slid down her foot.
• Don’t squeeze the Charmin, squeeze me instead.

but I digress.

Peanut butter is pretty amazing, if you think about it. It’s packed with carbs, protein, fats, vitamins, minerals, yet has no cholesterol.  You can survive for months on peanut butter and water alone.  Peanut butter is tough too.

If you call your sandwich a jelly and peanut butter, Peter Pan will call up Skippy and they will smear you in a Jif. That’s how important peanut butter is.  Also, dogs + peanut butter = hilarious.

With the machine constructed and the dogs shooed from the kitchen, we are ready to start making peanut butter.

Testing Underway (Fresh Roast)

With lab assistant, Brad, on by my side,  I will start with the dry roasted peanuts.  We decide to go with the smooth setting to see just how buttered this machine can make our nuts.

When I flipped the switch, all hell broke loose. The machine roared to life with a sound like rocks in a blender. Peanut chips flew out the spout while Brad and I jumped out of our shoes. The peanuts need to be stirred to keep flowing into the extruder.

Once the machine processed enough nuts, the butter started flowing. The grinding action heats up the nuts so it flows like peanut soft serve. It looks disgusting, but it smells like delicious hot nuts. Brad is clearly olfactorily satisfied. I want to grab a cracker and taste, but my amusement overpowers my stomach. The machine actually produces a considerable amount at an impressive rate.  It also appears there will be very little waste.  How about that for sustainability.

Tasting (Fresh Roast)

The consistency is definitely grainier than commercial peanut butter. There are no large chunks, but the difference is palatable. The taste is magnificent. The extreme nuttiness with the freshly roasted and ground flavors have put Brad in a state of nut ecstasy.

Testing Underway (Honey Roast)

Next up, honey roasted. These are much stickier nuts, so we thought they might not process as smoothly. This wasn’t the case. They went through the machine just as smoothly as the fresh roast and finished with the same consistency. This batch was a bit sweeter because of the honey.

Testing Underway (Sunflower Nuts)

Time to give the chunky setting a whirl. We’ll report the range of consistency produced.

Now for the wild card. We are putting sunflower seeds through the machine. They are smaller and oilier, so they should fire right on through.

The result is camouflage green sunflower butter that looks like it belongs in a diaper, not a sandwich. The butter appears to be oilier but it didn’t come out any faster.

It tastes ok, but peanut butter still tastes better. That face doesn’t lie. Sunflower butter will not be showing up on the shelves any time soon and also a word of caution.  If you have a nut allergy do not make out with a Starbal.

The motor stopped right as we were about to overflow the cup. I had to dump the remaining nuts. We learned later  it features a safety shut-off to prevent overheating. We made only one batch, so I don’t think this thing is capable of ramping up to commercial volumes. Unfortunately, My Lab Rats Nut Butters will not be coming to a store near you.

Our final rat squeak on this product

Making peanut butter is fun and tasty. You have to be willing to sacrifice creamy smooth consistency for all natural peanut paste that, thankfully, doesn’t contain the unhealthy additives in commercial peanut butter. If you enjoy the idea of honey sweetened and cinnamon flavored homemade nut butters, then I suggest buying the Old Fashioned Peanut Butter Maker. Personally I had fun, so did Brad.

RAT ON!

Grout Aide

Without a doubt

I have bad grout

and want to shout,

“Don’t replace it, reface it.”

Despite having far from perfect grout in my shower, I’m definitely not planning on grinding it out and replacing it. That’s time I just don’t have. Oh, and I rent. So what are my options? I can’t seem to get rid of the rust stains with chemical cleaners so it’s Billy Mays to the rescue. Billy Mays couldn’t make it – he’s currently buried in work – instead we have his bobble-head. Stop sniffing the pen Billy; Drugs are bad. Mmkay??

Grout Aide is basically a grout paint pen. I am curious to see how well it covers and how long it lasts. It could be the perfect solution for a lazy renter like me.

The first thing I had to do was clean the shower. Usually, I clean the shower every month or six. Cleaning removes any soap scum, scale or build-up that might prevent the marker from applying the paint uniformly to adhere and dry properly. My shower is completely tiled from top to bottom, so “regrouting” would take an immense amount of time. The majority of the stained grout is around the perimeter of the bottom of the shower.

Let’s rock out with our grout in and see if this pen works. The directions call for vigorous shaking for at least 30 seconds.  I immediately fell into my Shake-Weight training mode.

After shaking that pen like a Polaroid picture of a crying baby, I am ready for Step Two.  Gently press the “nib” onto a piece of paper and patiently wait for grout color to appear. This may take 0:45 seconds. After pressing it down about 20 times, all of the pores on the “nib” started to fill with paint. Looks like we’re ready.

The pen applies a thick and uniform coat to the grout. It definitely covers up the stains. It is like applying whiteout to your shower tile without the lively smell – sorry Billy.  The only problem is it  works so well you have to do the entire bath area or you can see where you stopped. The tip is reversible for when one side begins to wear down. Probably a bit of overkill as the tip appeared to be in good condition and did not need to be reversed after using two thirds of the pen’s paint. My reasonably sized shower stall contains approximately 350 linear feet of grout. The pen claims to cover 175 linear feet. A little quick math reveals I need two pens. Two pens cost between $10 and $20.  Still cheaper than regrouting.

The overall difference is pretty clear.

This pen is not bad for covering up stains, but there is an entirely different problem we face when talking grout….cracks.  This pen covers, but it doesn’t fill. You are guaranteed to have bright white grout with very obvious cracks, something the product photos don’t show.

Oh well, the pen is clearly not mightier than the trowel, but can put up a good fight. Overall, the grout looks far better. Maybe they will invent a crack pen. Boy that be popular wherever “regrouting” is considered a luxury.

Time for some time.  I’m gonna wait a month and see if this paint washes off with my daily filth. Tick, tock, tick tock, tick, tock.

One month later we have a result

The grout cover is still there. Other than not filling in the cracks, the Grout Aide pen definitely delivered on its promise. My shower has clearly been refaced and looks much better than when it was awash in rust and lime stains.

For the price, this product is worth buying: RAT ON!

Keep passing out in your uncomfortable jeans? Pissed that you can’t wear pajamas to the club?  Are you in love with the look of denim but your skin chaffes easily? Is your Canadian tuxedo plush enough? Have we got the perfect product for you!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Today,  I will be reviewing the Always Fresh Storage Containers from Gourmet Trends.  The idea behind these containers is they remove damaging ethylene gases released from ripening produce, meats and bread. Ethylene exposure has been proven to hastening the aging process of produce at a substantially increased rate. We’re about to see if special plastic can consistently absorb ethylene and maintain freshness. I already like the fact that the containers are far easier to clean vs. similarly promoted bags and should last much longer. We’re already getting off on a good note, like sex on a post-it.

I bought four items to store in the containers: One carton of fresh strawberries. They say, “fresh.” I am trusting them. A container of plain yogurt— none of that fancy fruit-on-the-bottom shit, we’re on a budget. One small carton of fresh blueberries, “freshness” is, again, self-proclaimed. Finally, one filet of fresh flounder. I can tell it’s fresh because it doesn’t smell at all like brass pole. The packaging states that they can also be used for poultry and cheese. Yogurt isn’t cheese, but it is dairy and cheese lasts much longer. So, I figured a more perishable dairy product would provide a shorter shelf-life and faster results.  Besides, I’m testing this in my parents fridge and don’t want my rot garden to interfere with their lives for too long.

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The normal shelf life for these food items are:

• Strawberries: 2-5 days:
• Blueberries: 2-5 days
• Yogurt: 7-14 days
• Fish:  1-2 days

Let’s put it right in the fridge:

—Yes, that’s the Shocker right under “Linda’s Kitchen.”  What mama don’t know… can still ruin her dinner party.

Who will tell her?   Someone… someday….I’m waiting for the call.

Friday, January 8, 2010

I am hesitant to open the containers at all,  oxygen aides deterioration. Everything looks the same as when I originally started the experiment. The flounder appears a little dry, but there is no smell outside the container. I won’t open it, yet. I am going to let these babies ferment and open them  next week for an in-depth status update.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

OK. Let’s see what we have here:

The blueberries still look blue and berrylike. They are in decent shape, round, except for one that appears to be growing mold. I am tempted to remove it from the bunch but will see if it has an effect on its neighbors.

The liquid that normally appears in a container of yogurt is beginning to turn yellow. As bad as the urine-colored, chode slurry on top of the yogurt looks, it doesn’t have a foul smell at all and I’m guessing it would still taste normal. I will leave the liquid in the container to see how quickly this turns into a biological weapon. Personally, I don’t like it when food looks like excrement. Taste and smell should not be the first line of defense when it comes to food.  I never cared for chocolate soft-serve either, my ice cream comes in scoops.

Now for the fish. I am nervous and am practicing breathing through my mouth. I still cannot smell anything in the fridge or outside of the container as I hold it.  Either the fish is still good as new, or these containers are the Febreeze of the food world.  Ok… {gag}… lid’s off… {gag}… FAIL! FAIL! FAIL!  I’d rather bob for apples in the blowhole of a rotting whale. Though the fish looks good, I wouldn’t dare eat it. The flounder is moist, but the smell clearly suggests the moisture is from rampant bacterial growth. I noticed some fellow Lab Rats tried food from the Freshness bags even though it looked and smelled rotten. Well, good for you. I love this project of yours, but like mama always said: “If it looks good, but smells like road kill, call her a cab and call it a night.”  I’m throwing the fish away before I Linda Blair vomit across the kitchen.

RESULTS:  The containers will keep in foul stenches, but will do absolutely nothing to extend the life of fish or seafood.

DON’T BOTHER.

The strawberries are faring well.

For this portion of the experiment I bought two cartons, so I could also test berries in a standard container. These strawberries are actually doing better.

I washed and trimmed those in the standard container.  I kept the berries in the Always Fresh container au natural.  One or two of the berries in the A.F. containers look as if they are starting to turn. All of the berries in my standard container look and taste just fine. At this rate, I find it hard to believe the box which displays a picture of delicious strawberries 20 days after placed in the A.F. containers.  It has only been 6 days and a couple have already started heading south.  You boys like Mexico!?

Sunday, January 17, 2010

I am leaving for Los Angeles tomorrow and returning home on the 19th day of the experiment. According to the box, those strawberries ought to be bright red and juicy delicious after 20 days. We shall see.  In the meantime, let’s take a pre-vacation look:

Not much has changed. There are more moldy blueberries and strawberries, but only a few have been affected. The majority still look bright and edible. By comparison, the strawberries in the standard container look the same as the Always Fresh berries. In this case, there doesn’t seem to be any difference between the regular container and the Always Fresh plastic.

The yogurt still looks like a scary liquid puss puddle, but it smells just fine.  No visible change in the color, texture or aroma. So far so good, but one more week might be too much. Time will tell.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Always Fresh proudly claims that 20 days of brutal ripening is no match for their cutting edge containers.  It’s been 20 days and it’s time to see just how much gusto these suckers have got. I haven’t taken the lid off in days so your guess is as good as mine. Personally, I am expecting some compost.

The yogurt STILL looks exactly the same.  Like mashed potatoes floating in very old pina colada mix.  I am pleased to inform that there is no foul odor whatsoever.  The juice is still off-putting, but if you had these containers, you would probably have drained that right away.  No change in color, texture or odor.  Looks like dairy will last pretty long.  It has been 7 to 13 days longer than the normal shelf-life.  NICE ONE!

The blueberries have gotten worse.  But not all of them. The mold did spread to a few more berries. But honestly, many of them kept their shape, color and plumpness. Berries left in the standard plastic carton they come in (with holes) would have shriveled and rotted after 6 days. Again, if you were eating these, once a berry appeared moldy it would be thrown out. Looks like the blueberries lasted much longer than they should have.

The strawberries had a similar fate. Some of them look bright red and appetizing, yet mold has spread throughout the container. They definitely ARE NOT the same as the strawberries pictured after 20 days on the container box. <shock>  False advertising indeed. The strawberries in the standard container have the same amount of mold. The green containers do not fare any better at keeping fruit fresh than any other air-tight container.

If you are going to ante up and buy these containers, don’t expect magic. Any well sealed container that prevents the flow of oxygen would probably do the same job in keeping your food items fresh. If Always Fresh actually worked on seafood, all of our fishsticks would be wrapped in it by now, considering freshness is the primary battle in the seafood racket. To put it simply, RAT OUT!

At 95 years old Jack Lalanne is the oldest fitness guru alive.  He hosted TV shows, wrote books, opened 200 fitness centers that he sold to a company that would later become Bally’s, and marketed the hell out of a little product called “The Power Juicer”.  This product helps you get the most out of your vegetables by crushing them and drinking their sweet nectar. Mom always told me the nutrients were in the skin, either mom or Jack is lying.  Mom lied about Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and my real father, whoever he is.  Jack wins my trust, let’s see if he wins my cash.

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Turbo Snake

This guy seems for real, but the crature he pulls out of hs drain and admires is not. Is it just me or does it sound like he says turble snake. Terb–O! Despite his potential linguistic downfall, his methods are solid and therefore we rat him on.

Remember when the only thing you needed to do a sit up was the floor? Not anymore! Now you can buy a machine that makes sit ups easier for people who couldn’t and wouldn’t do them anyway. The good news is that when you’re never using it, it barely takes up space, and no, dusting it doesn’t make it look like you use it.  Fitting through a standard fire door without having to turn sideways makes it look like you use it.  So watch this video and decide if you want to spend time on it. Of course by, “on it” I mean over it since you’ll probably be sleeping on your bed while it is neatly stowed underneath.

Make room for room temperature!

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Forearm Forklift Lifting Straps

Mom Approves!

Another way to speed up that to do list.

Lets Get Crackalackin with EZ Cracker